Make Peace With Being Different

I could talk on this subject for hours and every now and then I post about it in my Be Inspired, Stay Motivated group.  It is a subject near and dear to me because it is a part of my story.  I have always acknowledged that I was different and I accepted it.  Privately and in the company of other like minded individuals I was alive and vibrant, but I didn't have the luxury of begin able to permanently be in my zone, as I called it.  I would meet people along the way that I could contact with from time to time, which would encourage me but ultimately I have walked the journey alone.

Alone.  Nobody wants to be alone or feel alone.  Everyone wants to be connected on a meaningful level.  To be seen, heard, understood, loved, validated and received, but that connection is not always available and without it you can feel rejected, abandoned and vulnerable.  Not quite what you were hoping for or needed.

In our vulnerability, we often times we succumb to the voices around us because there are more of them criticizing and comparing us than there are voices, encouraging us.  Because words have power and faith (belief) comes by hearing, we begin to believe truths about ourselves that are not our reality but ones fostered on us by others.  Others who have a different context and therefore a different conclusion.

My response to all of this was to become very guarded and defensive.  I had super high walls that you had to scale unassisted if you wanted to meet the real me.  I created space between me and others with weight.  I remember as an early teen people asking why I had such a chip on my shoulder.  I developed defense mechanisms to protect myself, so I could be myself.  No one could approach me and have the freedom to say whatever they wanted.  Mission accomplished.  However, those same high walls caused me to become cold, unfeeling and disconnected.  I realized that the fortress, I erected to protect  me was keeping be a prisoner.   I wanted out, but I was sooooooo scared.  Scared of feeling the sting of rejection, again.

I distinctly remember having a crying and screaming conversation, one of many, with my husband prior to getting married (it's a wonder he married me, poor thing).  The conversation was about how was I going to live up to the expectations of people as his wife.  Him begin such a nice and kind hearted person and I, being stone cold.  I knew his presence in my life was the beginning of a change.  Marrying him and coming into direct contact with love and kindness was the catalyst for change in my life.

That was seventeen years ago.  I have relaxed dramatically, let down almost all of the walls (still a work in progress), lost half the weight, faced some heady emotional challenges and had some life affirming experiences.  A few years ago after a not so pleasant confrontation with a very good friend I realized that I was holding a bag.  In that bag was all the stuff others believed about me that wasn't my authentic truth.  It was their thoughts and opinions about who I was. After working through the hurt of the situation, I realized that as painful as it was, it was really a gift.  I realized I didn't have to hold the bag anymore.  I no longer believed what others believed about me.  I dropped the whole lot of it.

It has been hard, it has taken a long time and it has been rough but I got the emotional work done.  I changed the frequency of my hearing and because of that I've learned to appreciate my uniqueness and I've made peace with being different.  I have never been more free and ready to live!

...all things work together for the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. ~ Rom. 8:28

Has being different caused you to back up in life?

Weekly Workout Recap Oct. 4 -10th, 2015

I didn't intend to say all of that above, so I will be brief here.

Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday I completed my second with of DDPYoga with an extra day on Saturday.  You can see me doing the Energy workout below.  I am totally enjoying it.  Already, I'm experiencing greater flexibility and less back pain.  Looking forward to starting Week 3.

I started teaching myself to swim on Monday.  It went pretty well.

Gluten and dairy free eating to reduce inflammation and intuitive eating are still major works in progress. 

And look what my neighbor was throwing away! I was just looking for one online the day before.  It was covered in mud, but I got it all cleaned up, popped some batteries in and it works!   Now I can at least simulate running without the impact.  Toddler girl is fascinated with it and thinks it is her new toy.

Have you downloaded your free KIMStrategy yet?  Don't Gain Weight This Winter Let's Keep It Moving!

Oh! And I like a good time, so you may find me at any of these parties.

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