Tuesday, December 30, 2014

This Is Not The Way

PI wanted to write you a nice little post on the importance of being prepared.  How it is critical to your success, especially if you are attempting this lifestyle change for the first time.  I was going to share my plan, tips and tools that I have found helpful during this journey. I even had a wonderful graphic for you that I will still post.  So what happened? I awoke this morning with a bolt of inspiration, better known as impulsiveness, to start my plan today.  When I get excited I get a little hasty. 

Who in the world starts a lifestyle change  in the middle of their vacation.  Away from the comfort of their kitchen where everything is at their finger tips.  Would it be that same person who starts a 7 Day Cleanse on that short week between Christmas and New Years?  Don't you think that person would realize it wasn't a good idea? Hmm... 

As soon as baby girl woke up I told her the plan to make juice and she was excited.  I'm a stay at home Mom and Z is my trusty sidekick who loves to help.  I washed and assembled the borrowed juicer and prepared the vegetables.  First up was the carrot juice which went smoothly and taste great.  I also juiced some of the ingredients for the fat flush smoothie.  Figured I would just pop the leafy greens in the bullet when I was ready for lunch.
My Step Dad has three medium sized veggie gardens about the house so we cleaned up, then ventured out to put the veggie pulp in the garden bed.    It was a great teachable moment as Z will be starting her first potted vegetable garden this spring. Back inside I had a little work to do so Z played on the porch.  I'm not sure what happened next, but Zj kept delaying her nap. First she wanted me to play a game. I did. Then she wanted a snack. She ate it.  Then it was time to pack up. She claimed she was packed up and wanted to read a story on the porch before nap.  She picked out the book and set it up on the porch.  Imagine my surprise entering the porch  to find a wreck and the snack was strewn about the floor. I'm sure you can imagine how this detoxing, water only since carrot juice drinking, talked to death by toddler Mommy was feeling.  IRRITATED!  Surely it was time for my smoothie. 

So with my smoothie on my mind and the need to potty I set out to getting Z to clean up.  As we are finishing Z decides she wanted to feed the strewn snack to the ants.  Me, feeling some kinda way, said to go throw it in the grass.  Who told me to say that.  I thought she was going to throw it over the wall.  No nooo nooooo, she had to walk it down the steps and put it in the grass on the side on the side of the house.  That's when she spotted them.  "KIDZZZZ", she shouted. "I found kids at the front of the house" and took off running in her pj's and undone natural.  To say Z is social is an understatement.  Nap has officially left the building and I'm running behind Z saying, "What? Wait!"  She was right.  There were kids, lots of them.  She was sooo happy.  I convinced her to come back inside so I could at least fluff her fro and put some clothes on.  In my mind, I'm thinking, smoothie I'm coming. 

I'm that mother who has to be there when her kid is outside so I'm playing with everyone and talking to the other parents.  After about an hour and a half or so it rains and the kids go inside.  It's now time for nap. Smoothieeeee.  My mouth is dry and that taste is coming like when you've been on a long fast.  My head hurts and of course somebody is over tired because they are two hours late for nap. Yet through the tears she is pleading her case not to lay down.   Half and hour later, silence.  Finally, she is asleep.
Smoothie, yes?  I'm going to do this farm to table style.  My Mom convinced me to eat the callaloo from the garden instead of purchasing spinach from the store.  I'm always down to save some funds so I agree.  I get the bowl and scissors out and head outside.  It's still raining.  I wait a bit, then decide to go out anyway.  I get over there only to find that what I thought was callaloo is green pepper.  Whaaa?! I look and look, but everything looks the same to me.  I come back inside. It's raining and Z is sleeping so I can't catch the bus to the store but I gotta eat something.  I text hubby who suggests I google the plant which helped, but I still wasn't sure.  Back outside, in the drizzle, I go to get my greens.  
My bounty
I pick them, wash them, and get the juice out and get ready to blend it up.  I can't get the borrowed Bullet to work. Eventually, it does, but something smells funny.  What is that burnt rubber? Really? The Bullet is smoking. What am I going to do now I ask myself as I look around the kitchen.  I guess I will have to use this ancient blender.  How old is this thing anyway, I think to myself as I plug it up.  It is more of a safety hazard then a blender, but it got the job done.  Even if the smoothie wasn't smooth and I had to concentrate to drink it. 

Well, that was at four and now its time to potty again.  Please do a better job preparing.  Do you think dinner will go easier?

Update:  Benjy was right.  After 36 hours I concluded that in my haste I was not wise and discontinued my cleanse. My original date and time was Sunday Jan. 4, 2015  At that time I will be properly prepared to get started again.


  1. Hilarious! I'm glad that you'll now enjoy what's left of your vacation instead of trying to juice and cleanse :-)